Soul Eater: Zweihänder
by filtered
Summary: Siegfried Cyprus- a Demon Weapon with a life wracked by an inconceivable sickness- awakes one morning in the DWMA infirmary to discover that he is somehow in perfect health. Now free of his childhood curse, Siegfried rejoins his Meister and the rest of his team on a journey leading to new experiences... and what could bring about the cause of what had plagued him so long ago.
1. Stitches

**Authors Note: Of all the little cringey fics I have written, I think** _ **Zweihander**_ **is probably the one that tore me apart the most. I first took this one on in High School and, never truly content with what I had written, had posted several rewrites and reboots and whatever-the-hell's. And now, what seems to be eons later, I think I've finally written something that I'm actually proud of, thank goodness. Enjoy!**

 **Part 1:**

Unbind Him, And Let Him Go

"There's no harm in hoping for the best as long as you're prepared for the worst."

-Andy Dufresne, _The Shawshank Redemption_

 **Chapter 1:**

Stitches

Here we are, friends and neighbors; the illustrious, magnificent Death City. Legendary throughout the globe, it stands out in the middle of the desolate and unnerving deserts of Nevada. But of course, dear reader, you are completely familiar with the fabled setting in which our story takes place. So instead, let us take a look inside the prestigious Academy that sits dead-center.

The inside of the school hallway burns with a heat wave that is, ironically, completely new to the desert town. The only sounds that can be heard are the occasional opening and closing of the classroom doors that hinder the learning activities behind them, students heading for a bathroom break, a mission, or in some cases, a meeting with the school's eccentric founder. The boy with a mop of dirty-blond hair and small glasses trudging dead-center in the hallway, however, is who we're focusing on at this moment.

He's 5'5- a bit taller than most students- and is sweating profusely. His expression is one of pure disgust, the perfect way to express his annoyance that he now has to leave the comfort of an air-conditioned classroom. Although he walks like you and me, there is a sense of… raunchy annoyance seething from him, as if he is actually walking with a poor posture, his neck strained.

To put it simply, Jaxx Autrey is a troublemaker. Deviousness and dislike aside, however, he is not in the middle of all the fuss- the fuss whom this tale surrounds. Let us speed by this hoodlum at a much faster pace, slipping down a staircase or two as we make our way to where our hero has been, without a doubt, imprisoned against his will.

The infirmary.

 **1**

Siegfried Cyprus awoke on another chilly morning, his eyes wide, his breath short. He sat up quickly, steeling himself for the throbbing, drum-like pain of his chest, thinking that the seconds of mercy were just a dream that was slipping away from his consciousness, that the pain would soon come, and he would not scream, would not, could not.

That was when, of course, he felt the massive heat wave press against his body. He blinked sweat from his eyes and quickly kicked the blankets away, thinking that he was still in his dream. _Fuck fuck fuck FUCK WHY IS IT SO DAMN HOT!_

When he could resist no longer, he brought his hands to his chest and pumped. This can't be right, he thought. If I'm not feeling pain, then something's not right. After a few seconds of looking like a self-proclaimed masochist, a smile found its way onto Siegfried's face, and he began to holler.

"Stein! Yo, Professor! The pain, it's-"  
"Keep it down, I'm right here."

Siegfried grabbed one of the curtains that blocked outside view of his hospital bed (sealed him in his tomb, you could say) and threw it aside, revealing Stein, relaxing in his office chair with a cup of coffee.

"Doc, the sickness, it's-"  
"Gone like a fart in the wind?" He asked, bemused. "I noticed. It's as if it wasn't even there to begin with." He pointed to the computer on his desk with a free pinkie.  
"You _knew_? Why didn't you-"  
"It felt better finding out for yourself, didn't it? Not to mention you were yelling so much I couldn't get a word in edgewise."

Siegfried blushed slightly. "Hold on, it actually went away _overnight_? Is that even possible?" He regretted questioning his blessing; it just seemed too good to be true.  
Stein put his cup down and began the process of lighting a cigarette. "The world of medical science isn't always black-and-white; this is something _I_ can't even explain." Then, after taking a puff:

"When you were first admitted here, the cause was at least visible, albeit unorthodox. It seemed that your soul had been... torn open. Pieces of it flowing through your body, etcetera, etcetera."

Siegfried nodded gravely; he had heard this explanation 12 times (he had counted), each talk seeming more disheartening than the last. Although he had been sick for years, the DWMA staff were the first to tell him the details of what had been really going on inside. Siegfried had never accounted feeling his soul being torn open (the closest any of it had come to were average chest pains and a burning throat sore from vomiting), and he could never imagine the unbearable agony of it. Visualizing the spiritual tearing of your insides, like hot glass cutting through you but not at all, kept him awake most nights as a child.

"Yes, I remember," is all what he responded with.  
"Taking a look at your soul now..." His pupils seemed to become more pronounced, a sign that Sig knew all too well. _Soul Perception_. "...It looks like something... stitched it back together. And I don't mean _my_ kind of stitches."

A graveyard chill found its way up Siegfried's spine. The understanding that Franken Stein, the doctor  
 _(debatable)  
_ that Siegfried had put his trust in for the weeks of his infirmary stay, had no explanation for his sudden bill of health, scared the shit out of him.

"Is that it? No strings attached?" He looked away with that last question.  
"Well, there are a few more pieces floating around in there, so you're not going to be the healthiest horse in the race, but you're definitely going to be running."  
"Go on."  
"A coughing fit or two, maybe a sore throat. I have some pills that should bring that down quite easily."  
"...Forgive me if I don't believe you, Professor, but-"  
Stein waved a hand. "I know, I know. I'll be calling you in for examinations during the next few weeks. I'm not going to let something like this just slide. For now, however..." Placing the cigarette in his mouth, he opened a drawer and fumbled around. After a few moments, he held something in his hand that made Siegfried, son of Frederick, smile brighter than he had in months.

 **2**

Since his childhood, Siegfried Cyprus had never experienced what he would refer to as a "peaceful, normal life." Breakfast with one's family, easy Sunday mornings, walks through the park with mother and father, all of it seemed almost like a fairy tale in a kid's book (he had those, of course; reading was a actually a hobby that was approved in his home).

Breakfast with family was instead a single piece of toast at three o'clock in the morning, before a brisk two-mile run in the chilly Germany air.  
Sunday was of course training day... as was every other day.  
Walks through the park were training in the backyard and practicing your stances, training as a weapon, honing your skills and whatnot.  
Frederick Cyprus, head of the prestigious Cyprus clan, would expect nothing else from his only child. His only _son_.

"As the heir to the Cyprus throne," Frederick would explain, you are expected to hone the skills of a wise, mighty ruler. You must not falter, you must not bend nor break. Do you understand, my son?"  
"...We don't have a throne, father."

As with other exaggerations that were shot down like a bird by a slingshot, Frederick would furrow his brow, clear his throat, and start over.

"You are a descendant of a wise and noble family, my boy. I expect you to..." A slight pause to gather his thoughts. "I expect you to grow into a fine warrior. Does that make sense?"  
"Not really."  
"You'll understand in time."

That was how he left his confused child. A swift slice through the conversation, as if avoiding some sort of conflict. Siegfried soon began to understand this, as his mother had taught him.

"Your father is very professional and cutthroat," Margaret began after one of her husband's talks, "as I'm sure you've seen."  
"He's not going to give me a straight answer about all of this, is he?"  
She placed a hand on her sons shoulder, her beautiful orange hair flowing, and smiled wanly. All he needed to know.  
"He... loves me, right mother?" Siegfried asked.  
"Aye, of course he does. He wants what's best for you, and what he thinks is right."  
"Do... do you think it's right?"

Her smile left her face before she brought her son in and hugged him tight, fingers running through his dark hair.

"I don't approve of it."  
Siegfried lowered his eyes, expecting that response. "Neither do I." He heard her laugh- a fresh, lovely sound- before releasing him from her bosom. She kept her hands on his shoulders and looked right into his eyes.  
"Be strong. Through it all, just... try." A new smile appeared, one that was much more homely than the last one. "For me?"  
"Yeah. For you." He smiled back at her, their bond slowly strengthening.

Siegfried Cyprus was soon able to accept the fact that no one- not even his parents- had all the answers for what they did, for the things they taught him. Despite his father's cold shoulder and his mother's faulty outlook on the subject, he grew to love his parents regardless. He knew that, in time, he would outgrow all of it, and there would finally be peace from the stuffy training.

That was, of course, before he turned ten, when an agonizing sickness crept behind and strangled him.

 **3**

And now, he felt as if it had all been a hideous dream, one he woke up from just minutes ago. His eyes widened at the mirror that Stein held in his hand, examining it, his excitement building. Traces of dust made their home on the glass.

"Professor," he began, his voice not quite steady. "Are you really going to..."  
"Yes, I am. I'd say that in your condition, you earn at least one shot at it." He tossed Siegfried the mirror before returning to another cigarette. "Go on. Make it quick."

Siegfried had been tracing numbers on the glass  
 _(42-42-364)  
_ when he suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. He swallowed (confirming that his throat was indeed a little raw) and hesitated.

 _What if he says no? Am I just wasting my time by begging him for it? It makes sense, concerning the severity of it..._ this thought molded into something vicious and unpleasant, a thought that formed into a daydream that ended with Lord Death not even _bothering_ to answer his call in the first place. Those assumptions were silly, of course, but they were no doubt searing themselves into his brain like a ray of heat.

Meanwhile, Stein watched, his curiosity peaking.

...

"Well if it isn't Siegfried Cyprus! My my, you look well! Could it be that you're health is improving?"

Sig gave a shy smile at his old friend Lord Death, relieved that one of those dangerous thoughts were knocked out of the park. He finally began to relax.

"That's actually an understatement, sir. In fact, I've-"  
"I heard from Stein that your condition has taken a turn for the better! Am I wrong?"  
 _He already knows. Lovely._ "Right again, sir. Aside from some sinus problems, I'm pretty much... cured."

He hated ending on that word, but he needed to be careful. _Gotta reel him in first... can't start nagging yet. Lord Death is a very complicated, articulating individual who will put up walls and wont just-_

"Would you like to start taking classes, Siegfried?"

The boy stammered at the lightning-fast response and lapsed into his first coughing fit. As it finally died, he realized that he wasn't looking much like a "clean bill of health" at all.

"Sinuses," he stated simply, chuckling a tad pathetically.  
"Oh, it's no problem. You don't even need to give a response. You've been locked away in that stuffy little room for quite a long time now, haven't you? You're probably just itching to leave."  
"On the money as always, sir."  
"Money? Well, no, I don't think this chair counts for any currency I now of."

Awkward silence followed. Siegfried coughed, not from "sinuses" but to keep the conversation going.

"So, uh... about those classes..."  
"Ah yes, your learning sessions. Unfortunately, the other students are very far ahead... not the best time to shove a new student in all willy-nilly, wouldn't you say?"  
"Can't argue with you there. I haven't even been able to look through the textbooks thanks to, well, you know."  
Death put a hand to hinder the conversation, as if that helped to hinder what his reply. "Of course of course, that darn old... thing."

He was of course speaking of the recent shortage of textbooks, a nasty occurrence that came by unexpectedly, keeping Siegfried from even _attempting_ to get caught up with what was going on in the surrounding classrooms.

After a few more seconds of speaking "privately", Lord Death came up with a marvelous idea.

"Alright then, how's this sound; while we sort out this little textbook shortage, how about I give you a tutor! Someone who will help you get the hang of things around here and in the classroom, before you make your triumphant debut. How does that sound?"  
Siegfried's smile instantly returned. He accepted gratefully, still beaming, unaware that Stein was sending him a smirk.

 **4**

"Now now, don't cry, Sig. It was all in my best interest, I assure you!" The reaper gave an ok to the mirror with his thumb and forefinger. "Anywho, I'll be sending the tutor your way in just a few hours. I'll be expecting _you_ to start packing." … "So you can start moving in with that Meister of your's, of course!" … "Hey now, dry those tears! You don't want to upset the tutor, now do you? Now, I must be on my way. Take care now!"

Lord Death shut off the communications and dusted off his hands.

"Well, now that that's out of the way, I'd like to thank you for volunteering for teaching our soon-to-be new student. I hope this doesn't get in the way of your daily responsibilities, Ms. Albarn."

Maka smiled politely. "No problem, sir!" As the Meister walked down Death's path, excitement washed over her. _Siegfried Cyprus, huh?_ She thought.

 _This should be interesting!_


	2. Pigtails

**Chapter 2:**  
Pigtails

 **1**

Stein couldn't help but feel surprised at the sudden change of mood in the room, the change that had passed the moment Siegfried had ended his call with Death. This was something that he had experienced frequently in his "career," but he was still amazed that the atmosphere loosened up the way that it did, like a thick fog being blown away by a strong gust. He debated lighting up another smoke, a bit unsettled that the idea of smoking would somehow hinder this change.

 _After a whole month of monitoring and weekly checkups, it's hard to accept this just vanishing in an instant…_ Leaning back in his chair, he smoked anyway, pushing the thought to a corner of his mind. One that would, without a doubt, be revisited when the time came.

"Yo Doc, what's she like?" Stein heard from his right.  
"Hm?"  
"Ms. Albarn, my tutor."  
"I'd drop the formalities if I were you. Remember, she's just a student, a year younger than you, no less. As for what she's like…" There was a sizzle as he put out his smoke in an ashtray. "She's at the top of her class- _your_ class, I might add- headstrong, persevered. Very thoughtful and kind. You're lucky to get a tutor like her."  
"So Death spared no expense for me, huh?" Sig threw his now-packed duffel bag over his shoulder, his thoughts once again clouded with excitement. "I've been having good luck all around these past few hours."

 _Let's just hope this stays,_ he kept to himself, eyes staring at the ceiling, a view so commonly seen in his life. _My past has a knack for sneaking up on me._

 **2**

Around the same time that Siegfried is being given his good news, Jaxx Autrey- the specs-wearing troublemaker whom we got a glimpse of earlier- is taking a rest stop at the cafeteria. He is doing this for two reasons: finding comfort from the heat in the form of an industrial fan, and delivering some good news to his teammates.

The lunchroom is empty, save two figures relaxing a short distance away from the door. _Less walking for me,_ Jaxx thinks with relief…

"Is that you, Pigsty?" A rather annoying voice cuts the relief clean like a butcher's knife.  
"Either get me a glass of water or just fuck right off," Jaxx snaps back.  
"Wise words from the melting buffoon."  
"And how the hell are _you_ not a pile of mush right now, Jessie? You're sipping tea right now, aren't you?"

Jessica Seamstress, contributing to this remark in her silk dress, only lifts a pinkie as she brings a teacup to her lips.

"Charming. What about you, blind man?" Jaxx asks the boy sitting across from her. "You in the mood for giving me grief?"  
"Nah, I think I'm good." Murk Ashford, dressing similar to his Meister's appearance but lacking in her hostility, waves a hand. "Thanks for getting the heat off me, though. No pun intended."  
"Is the charming couple not getting along today?"  
"Do we ever?"  
"Good point. Anyway, I'll cut the crap for a second. I have news."  
"Are they finally sending you to the looney bin?" Jessica smirked before taking another sip.  
This time, Jaxx let it slide. His voice was quiet when he said, "It's Siegfried. He's… fine."

...

Murk's eyes- which normally seemed closed- flashed with a bright yellow light. Jessica placed her teacup down without a word, her bangs seemingly covering her eyes. She shifted her position.

"Fine," Murk repeated. "Is _that_ all?"  
"That's all that Death told me."  
"How long has it been… weeks? Months?"  
"Weeks."

This time, Murk was the one who took a sip. While doing so, he noticed Jessica's peculiar shifting.

"What's up, Jess?"  
This broke her trance. "Does Antonio know?" Was all she asked. She raised her head while saying so.

"According to Death," Jaxx responded, "he was the first to know. Leader's priority and whatnot."  
"Seems fair."

The three of them remained almost motionless for a few seconds. Despite the anticipation that they all had felt just a few days ago- the almost _knowing_ that Siegfried would finally recover from whatever the hell had wracked him (the same "knowing" that kept Jaxx from obtaining a temporary partner), "fine" was the least-likely response they had expected.

Murk's eyes faded. "Well, you should go and see him, then."  
"...Yeah. He's going to be moving back into our apartment. Death gave me the rest of the day off to help him get settled in."  
"I hope you have AC," he said jokingly.  
"Always," Jaxx responded before waving a hand and departing...

...As he finally approached the infirmary door, he noticed a suspicious looking note taped to it.

 **3**

Siegfried waited patiently for his tutor to arrive (at least, he thought he was patient- he ignored the fact that he was tapping his foot on the infirmary floor). He looked around the room, taking in the scenery and the smell of antibiotics one last time. Then, after seeing Stein doing his own work, said:

"Thanks for putting up with me, Doc."  
"Hm?" He turned around in his chair.  
"You know, with all of this." He motioned to his chest. "Must have been a pain in the ass."  
"It's nothing, really. Just remember that you're not done seeing me yet."  
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get too comfortable and all that."

Stein simply nodded in reply.

The clouds of excitement in Siegfried's head seemed to burst into a flurry of gnats when he heard the knocking on the infirmary door five minutes after his packing was done. Sweat began to bead on his forehead instantly, the heat stroke beginning to pale in comparison. With a gulp and a quick inventory of wit, he opened the door.

"Hellooooo!" He yelled cheerfully. "So nice to see you, Ms.-"  
"Eh, Sig? You sure you're healthy?"

From the thought he had just moments ago concerning his luck, Siegfried could hardly find it surprising that it had been his partner doing the knocking. His embarrassing posture and expression now completely out of his system- it had left as fast as it had come- he turned his back on Jaxx Autrey without a word. Then, after sitting on one of the bedside chairs provided by the infirmary, he finally spoke.

"Not a word of this to anyone."  
"Yep. Healthy as a horse." A smile creased Jaxx face. Despite how much of a snoody prick Siegfried could be, he actually missed his attitude. Their souls _resonated_ , you might say.  
"How are you, Jaxx?"  
"Same as I always am: Big as life, twice as ugly." His eyes caught the duffel bag that was now resting on the infirmary bed. "I take it you're ready to move back in?"  
"Oh, totally. I'm just waiting on my tutor."  
"Yeah, about that..." He brought out a piece of paper from his pocket. "...Here's a little something-something I found."

He handed Siegfried the note he found on the infirmary door, his eyes watching for his partner's reaction.

"This is certainly odd," he said, eyes lowered.  
"You're telling me."

The small- nicely cut and square shaped- piece of paper was scribbled with an equally small- nicely handwritten and spaced- message. "Your first test: find the Evil Human at the Big Top!" Signed: "Your tutor! Good luck!" Siegfried noticed after re-reading the message that there was a little doodle drawn on the bottom-right corner- a small blob with flaming pigtails.

"Hold on a sec, what does the bulletin board say?"  
"I thought of that and checked the board before I got here. Apparently she signed us up."  
"How does that even _work_?"  
Jaxx shrugged. "She must have asked Death for approval or something."

Sig sighed, folded up the note, and stuck it in his pocket. "Alright then, let's get out of here," he said, starting for the door.  
"That was fast. You sure you don't want to take a bit of a breather?"

He turned to face his Meister, eyes blazing.

"I've been taking a breather in this infirmary for almost a month. It's time for this break to _end_." He turned and rushed out.  
"You never case to amaze, my friend." Jaxx gave a wide smile before jumping to his feet and bolting out the door after him.

 **4**

Jaxx finally caught up to his partner at the top of the Academy stairwell, panting hoarsely. He pushed up his glasses, placing a hand on Siegfried's shoulder.

"Take it easy, grandpa. Don't have a heart attack on me."  
"Eat shit."  
"Got any ketchup?"

Sig couldn't help but chuckle. While his chest had a good old heave-ho after bursting out of the Academy, his eyes had caught a girl wearing a heavy trench coat, holding a book to her chest, on her way down the stairs. She was a petite little thing, Siegfried noticed, but couldn't help feel a bit attracted to her. _I always had a thing for girls who liked reading..._ _I'd sit in a corner and read with her any day... wait..._ he squinted, catching a glimpse of something that brought his mind back to that note.

 _She has... pigtails..._

...

In the outskirts of Death City, a large circus tent stands unnoticed. There is no need for Soul Protect here- what could be more natural than a traveling circus? The last preparations are being made; the lining of animals, clowns, even the occasional snack stand or two. As we zoom in on the tip of the tent, we notice a figure wearing a top-hat pulling off what seems to be a masterful balancing trick. She caresses a baton in her hands, its tip a sparkling gold.

"Almost time, kiddies... the circus is in town!"


End file.
